The Gift of Presence - 2018 Anti-Resolutions (Part 2 of 6)

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Brian Callanan
Presence

In my last CFLF Blog post, I began a series focussed on my 'anti-resolutions' for 2018 with the hopes of sharing a different perspective on the widely accepted tradition of making promises to ourself about how we will improve our life in the coming year. For me, these comittments would have fizzled out by this time of year (only two months later) and I would struggle to even remember what my big New Years Resolutions even were, let alone actually keep to them. 

My goal in this series is to propose mindsets that may result in different behavior, with the combined two being the true focus for improving quality of life.

The first anti-resolution was to Focus On Small Steps. I've learned that because the steps may be smaller and more achievable, it sometimes seems to take more to get to where you want to. However, the sense of accomplishment is equally if not more great than just getting to the ends without a means. I have been wanting to do more long distance cycling, and over the past several weeks have built my rides from 8 miles up to 16, 32 and now 55 with future goals of 70 and 100 miles. However, if I were to skip those building steps and jump right into the 100 mile ride, not only would I be likely to fail quite painfully, but I would also miss all the other amazing rides that have led to getting to that ability level again.

The second anti-resolution is to Remember The Gift of Presence -

In regard to living with cystic fibrosis everyday for the past 41 years, conditioning my mindset has commonly been a greater challenges than the physical ones of the disease. Typically, it is easier for me to take my medications and do my therapy everyday as part of a routine. But a mind full of emotional stress, fatigue, anxiety and depression can either result in, or be the cause of physical deterioration. While I find it more of an effort to control the weight of a mind full of my life with CF in being more mindful, I also find that the benefits are greater. 

Mindfulness
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During the holiday season, gifts that are exchanged are also commonly referred to as presents. For years I have believed there to be an overlap between the homophones of 'presents' and 'presence'. I have come to see the true gift is not beneath the wrapping paper, but instead is being present in the moment of opening the present. At that time, nothing else matters. During the unwrapping of a gift, I have never thought about what I need to get at the store, or what bills are due, or who I did not call back, or who liked my last post because I am actually in the moment.

Being present is not only a gift to be received, but also one given to others who do not have to suffer through your paying half-attention to them while scrolling through a phone at the same time as ‘listening’. Being present gives exponential value to your quality of life, as well as those around you.

I recently had a conversation with someone who loves drawing and painting, and is in the process of applying to an art program. She was nervous about an upcoming interview with the school. I asked her what it was that she loved so much about art - what was it that drew her passion to it? The realization was that it is the ability to be focussed on nothing else, while not being distracted by the drama, negativity, noise and stress of daily stimulation that she did not find elsewhere. The ability present in the moment of her art was the reason for her love for it. 

Tear drop
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However, the opportunity to be present is everywhere. Feel the texture of the food you just put in your mouth, and taste the flavor or tartness or sweetness before just swallowing. Feel specifically where a rattle is in your chest, and how focussed breathing in that area changes it. In the bitter cold of winter, feel the crispness of cold air inside your nose, or the softness of the scarf around your face. When you cry, actually feel the tear as it runs down your cheek, with the appreciation of actually being able to feel it.

Being present in the moment often takes a conscious realization of turning off the ‘noise’ of life. And the moments that command our presence without a conscious effort can be some of the most powerful moments of all. Give yourself a gift as often as possible by being present in the moment. Moments will last longer. Time will slow down. Peace will surround you. And your life will become more profound.  

 

Help Others Live STRONGER and LONGER- 

 

Brian cycling
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Brian Callanan is currently 40-years-old, and was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at birth.  He is the Founder and Executive Director of the CFLF, and practices an active lifestyle primarily through swimming and cycling on and off road, but also enjoys snowboarding, hiking, sailing and rock-climbing. You may email him directly at brian@cflf.org.

 
 
 
 
 

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***Views expressed on the CFLF Blog are those of the bloggers themselves and not necessarily the Cystic Fibrosis Lifestyle Foundation***

 

 

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