Our worlds are ever-changing. Not just the chronically ill, but the human race as a whole. However, the chronically ill certainly have a few more pieces to play with than most. The constant battle is the balancing act.

Each year, my life seems to grow more and more hectic. 

There are constantly pieces being added to the scale before I can even get the pieces that are already there balanced. It can feel incredibly precarious and overwhelming at times. I have learned the hard way that I need to have my priorities in order.

I look back and am astonished at what I have already accomplished with my life. I started my own blog, became a CF advocate, graduated college, and found an awesome job where I am able to work full-time. Now those are just a few of the big pieces, and there are so many little pieces that fill in the cracks.

Recently, I have been struggling a lot with my health. Everything I do seems to be failing me. My team and I have treated my infections aggressively, yet I continue to lose lung function and weight. The hard work I have put in has certainly helped to slow the decline. Of course this is a difficult piece to handle, but it’s the sporadic leaping of the little pieces that come along with the big pieces that make it all impossible to balance.

One day I can feel fine and able to handle life, while the next I have great difficulty just getting out of bed. How can you possibly begin to plan out a week, let alone a month or a year if you have no idea how you will be feeling from one day to the next?

Something I have done to attempt to balance all the different counter-parts in my life, is to downsize. I never wanted this to be something that I had to do. I came to a realization once I accepted the need to downsize - it doesn’t have to be forever. Downsizing is temporary.

I quickly had to put my priorities in order. What are the pieces of my life that I can’t live without? 

What are the little pieces that are making the scale the most difficult to balance? There were a whole series of questions I ultimately had to make myself answer.

While before my life was built around ambition and passion, it now caters more to my health needs. I had to put a pause on a lot of extra-curricular activities, including making the difficult decision not to re-apply for another CFLF grant quite yet. I don’t go out and hang out with my friends as much as before. I have also cut back on blogging and many other of my dozens of hobbies. All of these hobbies will still be there when I feel up to indulging, but for now they are on the back-burner.

Instead, I have learned to enjoy just spending time with my family. 

My energy has been redirected to training my service dog, which will in turn be a tool that will help me in the future. My friends have shown their support by coming to me and being understanding of the times that I have to cancel or decline an invite.

I know this post seems a bit discouraging, but here’s what I’ve learned through my most recent balancing act. I have learned to appreciate the pieces of my life that are most important to me. I have learned the strength of my support system. Most important of all, I have learned the strength within myself. So don’t be discouraged because there is happiness, and you just have to focus and find it!

 

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Wendy Lumsden is a 25-year-old Cystic Fibrosis patient living in Wisconsin. She is an outgoing blogger who loves to travel and live life. She is training her dog, Finn, to be her service dog for when she needs a little extra support throughout her day. Subscribe to her journey at thelivingbreathingwendy.com

 

 

 

***Views expressed in the CFLF Blog are those of the bloggers themselves and not necessarily of the Cystic Fibrosis Lifestyle Foundation***   

 

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