Four weeks ago while recovering from sinus surgery in the hospital, the foundation for my new house was being poured. Almost a year ago my fiancé, Scott, and I decided we wanted to build a house. My parents offered us some land on their property and we of course took them up on it. After LOTS and LOTS of paperwork we finally got a construction loan to build the house. The plan is to have the house up and closed in before the first big snow so we can continue working on it through the winter. So far we’ve been lucky with the weather and the house is almost closed in. If all goes well, we’ll be able to move in this spring (or at least by the summer.)
This came as a huge shock to me as I’d never had any sinus related issues. But apparently I couldn’t have been more wrong. What happened in the days to come was a six-hour surgery followed by a painful week or so of face migraines and bloody noses. But regardless, the day after the foundation had been poured I was lying in my hospital bed recovering, and I couldn’t help but juxtapose myself to the slowly hardening foundation. It got me thinking about how important those first steps are, of laying the ground work to the success of just about anything in life.
I’m a very impatient person, as many people with a chronic illness might be. I want things to happen now, as the unpredictability of the future is often weighing on my mind. But like a house, you can’t start from the top and work your way down. You have to start at the bottom and have a plan for building up. You have to be patient, and you have to work hard. These are two things that have been the hardest in growing older with CF; being more and more patient but working twice as hard. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because 99% of the time the things that are the hardest turn out to be the most worth it.
Building a house is slow, hard work. We are lucky enough to have my Dad as our general contractor, which means we get to help him (most) every step of the way. Hammering nails and carrying boards is exhausting after just a few hours, but to be able to watch the house taking shape is worth it. And the phrase, “many hands make light work” keeps running through my head as so many people have offered to help in their free time. Just like staying healthy with CF, it takes support from your friends and family.
When we first started down this path of building a house it was frustrating how slow it all went, mostly with getting the loan. But the thing I’ve been telling myself more and more lately is to take it one day at a time. Or one week at a time, at least. And like building a house, building your health takes time and patience. Nothing will happen in one day that will fix you for the rest of your life. You have to build up to that.
Sometimes you’ll put up a wall and then realize that something was measured wrong and you’ll have to take down a few boards and try again. It’s all a learning curve that takes a while to get right. But once you’ve got it right you can move on to the next wall, and just keep building and building and building. While I was in the hospital in such awful pain, the thing that got me through it was telling myself that it was all going to be worth it. And I believe that it was, and will continue to be as long as I keep putting in the hard work.
When you look up “foundation” in the dictionary, it says it’s “the basis or groundwork of anything”. It’s whatever keeps you steady and grounded. These things for me include not only my medications, treatments, supplements, my doctors, exercise, and eating well, but also my family, my friends, writing, reading, taking walks, having time to myself, my dog... I could go on and on, there are SO many pieces to it.
Something I’ve learned while watching and helping with building the house though, is that if the foundation is off, everything else will also be off. You have no choice but to start at the bottom. So find what you need to build your foundation to be as strong as possible. Take one day at a time. And remember that your hard work will all be worth it.
Erin Evans is 32 and was diagnosed with CF as a baby. She lives in Vermont and works for the Cystic Fibrosis Lifestyle Foundation as the Program Coordinator. She can be contacted at erin@cflf.org.
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