The gym is always packed and frankly, I hate it.  I'd like to go hiking but the sun is so bright and my medications make me susceptible to burns.  I wouldn't mind swimming, but chlorine gives me a headache.  Skiing?  Too clutzy.  Mountain climbing?  Leave that to Brian. Rugby? Got kicked off the team after helping our opponent up after a tackle.  Cheerleading?  Not since college. Jogging?  Was fun until my knees hurt and my mom became faster than I was. Crossfit?  How about kill me now?!  

UGH...Maybe I'll just do my vest for an hour and sit on a physioball and convince myself the core workout was adequate.  But let's be honest...I write for the Cystic Fibrosis Lifestyle Foundation...I'm suppose to be an athlete.  What's an athlete?!

Whatever it is, I should probably find out.  It had been a few days since my last cardio workout so I vowed to wake up early and head to 24 Hour Fitness for a 1-hour Zumba class.  Gosh, I've missed dance.  Ever since I was a kid, I was the one making up choreography, dancing on dugouts at Cedar Rapids Kernals Games, dancing on ice at Rough Riders Hockey Games.  Music blasts and for that 3 minutes, I forget the world around me and the work ahead of me.  It's one 8-count followed by a shimmy 1-2 hold and I might as well be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.

Although dance was in my background, Zumba was intimidating.  The Latin flavor, the four styles, the way instructors combine them and without skipping a beat they manage to still keep a smile on their face.  The course states you can burn 350-1100 calories in a one hour session, so I know I am going to cough the whole time.  My personal trainer was tired of the excuses I had and said "just suck it up and try".  

I let out a few good coughs as I walk into the class and saunter to the back row, hidden by the mirror. I've been so afraid to get back to dance.  My cough is so bad any more and my lung function ranges 40%-80%.  It's a lot of work to go for a walk some days.  But then others, I'm full of energy. Anyways...  My first Zumba class.  My last, I know it.  The music fills the room, pulsating and encouraging my body to regain it's ability to pivot, shake, roll, and ....smile.  I got this.  "I actually am not doing half bad" I think to myself as I stumble through the merengue.  I start messing up the steps but noticed I had a chance to get it correct after the chorus. Hahaha a few other Zumba-newbies forgot the steps, and I guess that's why they are staring at my feet.  

"Gosh, there's a lot of people staring at my feet now.  Guess that means they aren't worried about my coughing.  The beat is drowning out my hacking and my posture looks like a shimmy and not a cough.  This is fun!  I am not a CF person for this class.  I'm the weird girl who coughs but moves really well.  Did the instructor wink at me?  Omg.  She did!!  Now she is coming back here and oh sure, here's my hand,  lead me to the front"...no time for thought, just action.

Dee splits the class into two sections as Pitbull raps through the Bose stereo.  Now, we are facing other newbies.  Dee faces me and does an 8 count, followed by a body roll that takes exactly 4 counts, whips her hair, and snaps her hips into each corner of this fictitious box.  Two can play that game.  And we're battling with our respective "followers" copying our 8 counts.  

We clap while I cough and I stay where she puts me at the front of the class, where she feels I belong.  Where I guess...I do belong.  The next time I look at the clock, the class has only 2 minutes left and I realize, just because I wasn't with dance the past few years- doesn't mean my heart does not belong back with my true love.

I'm not the most Athletic of this Board.  I HATE running, but I do it to live.  I HATE swimming, but I do it because I like how I look in a bikini.  I HATE hiking, but I do it because my boyfriend loves it and it isn't as painful as gauging my eyes out.  But Zumba...I love.  Fast & loud beats that drown out my cough, shimmies, right-left-right-right, kicks, salsa, merengue...I feel like finally I am back in my definition of an athlete so much that I don't care if I am coughing the whole class.  I don't care if people are wondering if I am contagious.  They are watching my moves because this girl...actually has it.  

Ladies and gentlemen, CF does not have me.  CF will always be a part of my life but I will never be a victim of circumstance.  I'm in love again and when you are madly in love with what you want in life, CF is such a tiny detail of what life is about that frankly, I am suddenly doing my treatments so I can be back with my love.  Because my treatments make my love better.  The more treatments I do, the less likely I will miss a class. I spent so much of the last few years afraid to dance again, afraid that CF stole that part of my heart...to find out- when we reunited it was better than I ever imagined.

On October 18, I have a 1 day licensure course to be a LICENSED ZUMBA DANCE instructor!!!  I will not be the best athlete who happens to have the homozygous 508 mutation, I will not be the best Zumba instructor, but I will be the best I can be.  And if you ever take one of my Zumba classes, I know why you went to the back of the class- you were looking for love.  It is going to by my job, to help you fall in love with that part of you that you are worried disappeared among all of the excuses on why fit wasn't for you.  

 

Don't focus on always being the best.  Be the best you can be.  And you can!