I have friends who can crawl out of bed and be ready to walk out the door just minutes later, who go to the doctor maybe once a year, who never get sick, and who wouldn’t know a piece of medical equipment if it walked up to them on the street.  

And I have to admit: sometimes I’m jealous of them. 

I’m jealous that they can go about life, doing what they want, when they want.  That they don’t have to lug around a vest and nebulizer and countless meds on every trip they take.  That they don’t have to worry about daily treatments, or a cold turning into an exacerbation, or what clinical trials might be available in the next months.  I’m jealous that they don’t have to fight every day just to survive. 

Because sometimes I feel like everything I do is just to survive.  The treatments, the tests, the doctor’s visits, the hospital stays, the PICC lines, the insurance battles, the constant reminder to exercise even though you feel horrible, the insulin pumps, and the pills, the endless pills – it all seems a little too much sometimes.  And then, on top of all of that, I have to do everything that everyone else does – go to work and school, cook dinner, do the dishes, clean the house – oh, and sleep – the ever-elusive, never-seem-to-have-enough-of-it sleep. 

I could let all of this overwhelm me. 

Sometimes it does. 

I could go through all of the motions, just surviving.

But I have chosen to thrive.  

Even when I am in the hospital.  Even when my lung function is terrible and I feel like an elephant is sitting on chest when I try to breathe.  Even when there are more questions than answers.  Even when nothing seems to be right. 

How, you might ask, do I choose to thrive? 

 

1) I Get Out Of Bed
You know those days you don’t want to get out of bed?  The ones where it’s a serious choice between twenty more minutes of sleep and a shower?  Get out of bed, even if it’s just making it to the couch.  Get out of bed, because you’ll do more than just survive when you do: You make the choice to thrive. 

2) I Exercise Every Day
Yes, I said every day.  No matter how terrible you feel, do something.  Perhaps the only thing you can do today is walk around the block.  Maybe you can only do twenty sit-ups.  That’s okay.  But do something, because when you do, you choose to thrive. 

In high school and college, I was a competitive swimmer.  Now I run half-marathons.  My goal in these half-marathons is to cross the finish line.  It doesn’t matter how long it takes me, or if I have to walk the whole thing.  Crossing the finish line – with friends – is what matters.  And last month, I had the opportunity to run a Tough Mudder with two amazing friends – and it was muddy, and hard, and cold and wet, but it was so much fun.

3) I Am  Not Alone
I’d like to think I can handle it all, that I can do it all myself.  That no matter what life throws at me, I can get through it by myself.  But the truth is, I can’t.  I would be so lost without my friends and family.  They keep me grounded.  They bring me food when I can’t make it myself.  They get me out of the house.  They run half-marathons with me even though running isn’t their favorite thing.  They remind me that it’s worth it to thrive and not just survive.  I lean on them, and as much as I can, I pour into their lives, too.  And above all, I trust God.  God has a bigger plan than I could ever imagine, and He holds me in His hands every day, through every difficult and trying time, and through every good time, too.  He has used me and my CF for so much more than I could ever imagine, and I will be eternally grateful.

So choose to thrive today, and every day.  Even when it seems impossible.  Even when you feel like all you can do is survive: choose to thrive with CF. 

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Kristen Entwistle is a PhD Candidate in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology at Michigan State University, where her dissertation research focuses on aspects of CF and CFRD.  After graduation, she hopes to become a professor of chemistry and biochemistry.  She is also an author, blogger and speaker in her spare time at All For Him Life Ministries.